Friday, July 16, 2021


On my list of must haves this past Christmas was Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Little House on the Prairie book set! My whole life I believed I had grown up super privileged; being born in the United States with supportive parents (married going on 36 years too), roof over my head, everything I ever needed but apparently I was wrong! How dare my parents allow me to grow up without reading this series?! Okay, let’s get serious! These books were wonderful; if you grew up watching the classic series every morning during your summers growing up like I did but didn’t have the chance to read the books, then add them to your amazon cart now! The pandemic has been so exhausting; I just wanted to read something where I could escape mentally but maybe pick up some frontier skills too! At first before reading the books I assumed these were just for kids but in all actuality these were just the books this thirty something year old needed to read. Sure, they were easy readers, so something you could read in a week. The skills Pa and Ma Ingalls taught their children and the things the people of Walnut Grove went through gave me things to research. I wanted to learn how people were able to survive way back when. This past spring I started gardening and had a kitchen stuffed full of vegetables this summer; enough to provide not only for my household but also for two others! Which is amazing because anyone who knows me knows I don’t want to play in dirt! As a nurse I couldn’t wait to see what Doc Baker would do when Walnut Grove encountered a potential pandemic! He did exactly what any good doctor would have done; isolated and contact traced all the back to patient zero. Then isolated everyone else who was sick and quarantined all those who came in contact with the infected. Guess what? Good ole Doc Baker kept that nasty virus away from the healthy population in Walnut Grove! How is it that a country doctor in the late 1800s can get that right but major scientists and corporations with so much money can't? Smart man and he could also help birth a horse too! One thing that they didn’t have back then was the news and all these corporations buying for our attention. Remember what the goal of those companies are and that is to make money! Best thing and simplest thing we can do right now is turn off that TV! I have started waking up early, getting fresh air, exercising, reading, learning, anything to clear my mind from this! Please take the time for yourself to do the same each day because this is exhausting and people are losing their lives and we have already lost too many! So, let’s take it back to the basics when grandma and grandpa were kids. What did they use to do for fun before we had all the things we have? Maybe you pick up sewing or knitting, wood crafting, gardening, etc. There are so many options that we could pick up now that could be healthy for us mentally but also prove useful in the future if anything bad were to occur. Like Walnut Nut Grove we have to rally together as a team as they did every Sunday in that little schoolhouse/church! Americans, we must start remembering and believing in the freedom and foundation this country was built on! It doesn’t matter what color you are, what your sexual orientation is, or what country your parents were born in as long as you are an American- we are the same! Watching what is happening in places like Cuba, China, and Africa; we Americans must wake up each morning so happy and grateful for the freedoms that we still currently have! Those freedoms are something that are unique and specific only to the United States and something that we must keep and cherish forever!

Sunday, July 4, 2021

Anyone Else Confused?

I got on Facebook this morning and the first thing I saw was a friend going live. The first words she uttered was “I am not suicidal. If I come up dead just know I am not suicidal!” Now I like what is going on here? She said she got a call from her doctor that morning and not the receptionist or nurse but from the actual doctor himself. Which caused her alarm since it was only her monthly med refill appointment she had gone to the day before. He then went on to say “I’m so sorry to tell you this but your Covid test came back positive”. She continues to tell us that she asked her doctor how could they diagnose her with Covid if she wasn’t sick, had no tests done, or even talked about covid while she was there?  He then quickly says  “Oh I’m sorry it must’ve been a mistake.” So you’re telling me that they just call people who have appointments and tell them they have Covid19? She was beyond confused and honestly so am I! Can anyone tell me what’s going on here?

So I just started watching Amazon\"s show Utopia with John Cusack the other night and at first I figured it was just your normal typica show and then all the sudden I realized this is a show I probably should not be watching. Just like my friend who had to emphasize in her live video on Facebook that she was not suicidal... neither am I! How crazy it is that she even had to think about including that in her live video. Now we all remember Dr. Li from Wuhan, the whistleblower, at the very beginning of this whole thing. So I mean I understand if you were living in China in a communist society stating that within your video but to live inside the United States of America and feel as if you have to say that is imaginable! I’m not saying it could or would happen but only sharing what I saw this morning. My friend also went on to say that she doesn’t disbelieve that Covid existed because her husband had two cousins who died of “what they call Covid”. To me that makes it sound as if she is now questioning the whole thing like many people are.

Don’t get me wrong I trust science but I don’t trust everyone who practices science! I am a nurse and I have extreme respect for science and also a huge fan of science-fiction movies. Anyone else who enjoys those types of movies knows science can be amazing but it can also be deadly! On one hand science can create spaceships that fly astronauts to the moon but on another with the right poke in their spacesuit boom they’re gone. Plus, there is always some crazy scientist who comes up with some super weird experiment that winds up killing the whole entire world. Who’s to say something can’t happen like that in the real world? There are good humans and bad humans; take the Nazi Doctors for instance. My grandfather had to sacrifice raising his children on American soil because he was an Army Colonel who happened to help clean up that mess because he was also Chief of Surgery for years at a hospital in Germany. I trust science and that’s why I continue to research everything myself and try to educate my family and friends on the truth as we all should. 

On to my recent experience with my doctor after a little back injury. When the incident occured my Doctor was booked so I  saw the clinic’s Nurse Practitioner who actually helped address the problem and got me into physical therapy that day. We also had a very frank discussion about the COVID-19 vaccine. I did ask him what his thoughts were about it and he said he would not be taking the shot. Both his wife and mother-in-law had gotten very ill from Covid with his mother-in-law eventually passing away. Being that close to Covid he started testing his antibody levels weekly to see where he was at. He continued to see his levels increase so he said there would be no point in him getting the vaccine. More than likely he has had it and more than likely we all have had sort of coronavirus but it’s just all about who’s body is able to withstand it. After leaving the clinic I had to immediately tell everyone I knew I’m not a crazy conspiracy theorist. This guy was agreeing with everything I was saying. 

Two weeks passed and I went back to the clinic for a check up with my normal doctor. At the very end of our conversation before he was about to send me on my way he very matter of factly asked, “Oh by the way have you gotten your Covid shot yet?” After doing nothing but think about geting this stupid shot for months on end I said very confidently no and I have no plans on getting it! He went on to explain all the benefits especially with my bad asthma I really could benefit from taking it. Not only had the Nurse Practitioner told me the opposite, my allergist a month prior also told me to wait on getting the shot because of the medication he just put me on. I explained what the allergist had told me and everything I had researched including people getting shingles (I’ve had shingles twice), India giving all their citizens Ivermectin, and it’s simply not being approved yet. All of the sudden his tune changed just a little bit and he goes on to say, “Well imagine being one of the first people to have to take the shot”. 

You know what would make me feel more comfortable about this Covid 19 vaccine is to have national debate! I would like to call for a national debate of all the doctors and scientists who are for or against the shot that would like to speak out. Show both sides of the argument and give the American people the actual data and truth. I’m not an anti vaxxer, just someone who wants the truth like everyone else so let’s figure out a way to get this debate to actually happen!! 

Sunday, June 27, 2021

Dare To Fight For The Truth

I used to believe I would end up turning into a total badass like Maggie from the Walking Dead if the apocalypse actually happened during my lifetime! Come to find out, it’s not really going as predicted! What did I expect though? I’m your typical girly girl, so much so my nickname in college was “Lipstick” as in lipstick lesbian. Getting introduced by my friends to pretty girls as Lipstick I didn’t mind; considering how dating can be a struggle for nontypical looking lesbians. As for this apocalypse I need to step up my game!  

At least one thing I have going for me in a crisis is that I’m a nurse who can help keep the folks I love alive if something bad occurs. So in early January 2020 while the citizens in Wuhan were crying out for help on Twitter I knew then I needed to start stocking up on supplies. I had always thought our country would come together in a time of crisis just like we had on September 11th. Instead we fought with each other over things from toilet paper all the way up to race issues. We must do better! Like Maya Angelou said when you know better you do better! We must come together now and stop fighting with each other! Proof has come out that this virus was created by gain of function and what if the Wuhan lab did release it on purpose to start a biological war? Don’t let them separate us! This is when we must stand together as a whole! Remember we are American before we are the color of our skin or sexual orientation! 

We also have to understand that the media is a business that is all about keeping their ratings high. Reporters like Ivory Hecker have come out now to tell us the media corporations are censoring reporters talking about the truth. I’m scared that so many people take the news as 100% fact! We are allowing the media to take control and create issues between us so easily now. No matter whether you are a fan of either Fox or CNN, if you take the time to watch a live press conference you will see that whichever President is talking the opposite politically aligned news station will twist and edit to manipulate what was said. I only really discovered this myself after watching every live broadcast of Trump\"s Covid response team live press briefings. I would see them take a clip of him saying something from the conference and use it without the context behind it. They would run with that clip creating some bogus headline from it. So find the time to research those crazy headlines. That may mean you end up on the CDC or NIH websites learning how to understand peer review articles at 2 o’clock in the morning. I know I have spent countless hours going down rabbit holes to find the complete truth. Like me you should try to find the original article or statement before forming an opinion. The more you learn and research the more you keep your brain active and healthy too! 

So onto another thing that is scaring the hell out of me...governments and organizations offering incentives to take these vaccines! Weed, booze, a year worth of meat, and the list goes on and on. Where is the D. A. R. E. program when you need them? Just like growing up, the more I got peer pressured the more it pushed me away. It’s like when that annoying sales person keeps coming back over and over to ask if there is anything they can help with! Don’t be pushy because it’s really just annoying! I will do what is needed for the greater good but I will not be stupid about it! I don’t mind wearing a mask if that is for the greater good because that won’t hurt me. Being a nurse I know the proper way to wear a mask and make sure not to cross contaminate making sure it won’t get me sick and taught my family and friends to do the same. Honestly, I kind of enjoy wearing the masks. You know when you just have to run into the store for a minute you don’t want to waste that expensive foundation so you only have to do your eye makeup or when the girl at work is annoying AF and you don’t have to worry about the facial expressions you could be making. If I wear the proper mask I will keep my germs to myself. That is easy enough! Plus, who knows what virus could be released next so I don’t mind keeping the mask on. Injecting myself with something that has not been approved other than for emergency use… I’ll pass, thanks! 

Luckily, I’m working from home right now and have the luxury of not worrying about being forced into taking this experimental vaccine. My best friend didn’t want to get the shot at all but when his work brought in a vaccine clinic he felt as if he could not refuse. My younger brother who is now about to be a first time father was also pressured from work. They are both males in the age category where this could affect their hearts. I’ll be honest, up until the week before my parents got the vaccine I told them to take it because of my father’s health conditions but when I found out the truth it was too late! I tried stopping my parents immediately once I started really looking into this more closely but their minds were already made up. They believed in Dr Fauci and the science they were being told. Now my father who\"s a heart patient with a pacemaker is having complications and my parents both regret it. I’m worried that my future niece will be growing up without her dad and grandparents.

I implore you all to start researching everything you see on the news. Just make sure before you believe something it is actually correct. Also, if you see something that is wrong, speak up! We have to stick together! This fight for truth and liberty is a fight for us all! It’s disheartening how many things people allow this to happen. For instance, I was discussing these shots and adverse reactions while reading peer reviewed articles to my aunt who is a retired nurse and one of the first to sign up for the shot. After listening to this she finally broke it all down to me like this; “I’ve already taken the damn thing so I’m not going to research it because I can’t take it back. So it is what it is for me!”  How many other vaccinated people know the truth but they won’t speak up because they are complacent because they know it’s simply too late for them? 

So while I continue to work on channeling my inner “Maggie”; I’ll be stocking up on medical supplies, ammo, and survival equipment.  I don’t have a platform to speak out other than here and my inner circle so, not much I can do to change what is going on other than to hope those who read this will start to think about things they see and read a little more carefully.

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Dear Conservatives

 Dear Conservatives,

I have a request, please stop with all this homo hating nonsense! I consider myself a libertarian who leans very much to the right and also a card carrying lesbian! Just because I love my beautiful girlfriend instead of a man does not mean that I’m some left winged nutcase! Far from it! I probably have more in common with most conservatives than any liberal. I grew up going to a Catholic school in the South while heavily influenced by my Southern Baptist grandparents. Now with that foundation how can I not have conservative values? I hoped Trump would continue to wake everyone up to welcome the inclusion of gays and lesbians but now it’s your time!

The Catholic Church who many are being awakened to is the true problem! My favorite priest growing up turned out to be a pedophile; which just shows how deceiving they can be because I would have never known! Oh and by the way, no true American gay or lesbian would ever want to add pedophilia to the rainbow flag!! Speaking of that, they have already added too much to the flag so I’ll continue to stick with my American flag.

So now what I’m asking you to do is take a look at how the Catholic Church manipulated the Bible verse of Leviticus 18:22 to say “man shall not lay with man, for it is an abomination”. In the original texts it says “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination”! I couldn’t agree more with this verse! ! I believe they wanted to shift the hatred upon homosexuality to cover up their own scandals! The Catholic Church’s scandals have gone on for centuries so doesn’t this make sense to you? God made all the animals which we know around 1,500 animal species are known to practice homosexuality. Honestly, who believes God was wrong about this one?

Conservatives I implore you to stop allowing people to attack the gays. I don’t believe anyone can be that illogical to understand the Catholic church deployed this attack on homosexuality to help themselves! Even my devout Catholic family has moved away from the church after the pedophilia scandal was uncovered. Plus, I don’t believe most people are against gay people, especially once you come to know closely who is and realize they are just the same as you. I will be honest, I was the biggest homophobe from the time I was 13 to 21 until I realized the only reason I was is because I in fact was gay. I was so scared to confront my sexuality and for that reason being around gay people who I potentially could been attracted to would have expose my truth. So it’s my belief that the true homophobes are really just repressing their sexuality like I was. 

I want the truth for everything and I believe all Americans want that as well! I love how everyone is waking up to the corrupt things happening inside our government and now it’s time to do the same with religion. So do your research, make a gay friend, or search inward if the idea of either of those things scares you! 


The Libertarian Lesbian


Deja Vu, Akashic Records, or Pandemic Fatigue?

Anyone else ever just think, why me? For the love of God why me? Although horror is one of my favorite genres I really hate being scared in real life! For the past several years I have been having the weirdest “feelings” or sensations or attacks or I honestly have no idea what to call it! Out of the blue I will start feeling a burning throughout my whole body and then I will know it’s coming. Following this deja vu hits and this sense of impending doom comes crashing in! Anything including the most mundane thing can cause this to happen.

After pouring into the research of deja vu I know that it’s uncommon for it to take place this often with adults! So off to the doctor I went and there they tested me for everything. Blood work, scans, and all day office visit having my glucose check.  Even had a neurologist perform an EEG to make sure everything in this brain of mine is working correctly! Guess what? Showed I had a perfectly healthy brain! Okay so then what the heck is going on with me? What do they do when they can’t find an answer...blame it on anxiety! 

Am I an anxious person? Duh, I’m a freaking millennial! We live in a constant state of anxiety! We are the ones that got to watch the planes hit the World Trade Center all from the comfort of our school desk. Seems like every 30 and 40 something year old I know is on some type of anti-anxiety or antidepressant. Nothing wrong with that at all it’s just a fate that we millennials must face. So a diagnosis of anxiety made complete sense to me! Give me those pills and let’s see what it does! 

Not going to lie but dang did those pills help! I suddenly felt like a new person! Situations that would have previously made me go into a full blown panic attack I would be able to push through now without a problem. Suddenly those major work issues felt like just normal work issues. I thought my problem would be solved! The amount of these weird panic attacks went down but not away! Yes, before you begin wondering I did have my meds upped, switched, and even began seeing a therapist. Still they did not go away!

Since the medical folks just want to chalk it up to anxiety and don’t seem to be that worried I thought it may be time to look for answers elsewhere. So down the rabbit hole I go. Did you know deja vu could be you telling yourself that you are on the right path? Yeah, neither did I! Deja vu is spiritual? Okay I can get down with that! So I start looking into all this and found some interesting stuff. 

I consider myself very well read when it comes to religion but I had never before heard of the Akashic records. Of course I grew up watching the Montel Williams Show after school like most kids of the 90s so when I ran across the name Sylvia Browne it took me back to a much simpler time. Daytime tv’s famous psychic Sylvia Browne had of course been in the headlines recently about correctly predicting the coronavirus pandemic but that was not what I was looking for. I had to sort through all that to find her talk about this wonderful place and magically place, the Akashic records. She’s already passed on to the other side and her predictions are still coming true. I know she has had a lot of haters who say her psychic ability is false but I really hope she is right about this.

Akashic records or Hall of Records is a place that has every thought, feeling, and action that has ever taken place recorded. Okay then; sign me up! How do I get in this place? You know without dying though! Oh wait; I may have already been there! It is said, before we come into this life our soul charts out our journey and that chart is what some call our “Life Chart”. Sylvia believes that we chose our path in this world. Good or bad; we are the ones who pick it! To me that seems crazy because why in the world would I chose some of the things I’ve been through? But just because it sounds crazy doesn’t mean it isn’t real. 

Back to this whole Deja vu thing...some mediums believe that when you experience that feeling of Deja vu it is your soul saying you are on the correct path. After hearing this I wracked my brain trying to remember all the times I had Deja vu to see if this was true. I could think of a few examples where I was going through some life changing moments and Deja vu occurred. So it that just a coincidence or not? I really would not have anyway to tell so all I can do is continue to monitor the situation. Every time I find myself having an episode I will write down the situation.

Yesterday while scrolling the internet after work I came across an article about Covid 19 vaccinations being used as a depopulation method. It was a pretty startling article outlining what the future may look like. Of course there were some conspiracy theories yet to be proven but then again there were lots of facts too. The article spoke about how if you had the vaccine you would be dead within 5 years. Well my whole family and all my best friends have taken this shot! So I start to panic about who I will have left to team up with when the end of the world happens. Luckily I have a significant other who trust my medical opinion to understand the science of what is happening; so at least I still have one person on my team. Do you know how scary that is to think about? So of course deja vu starts to set in as soon as I start to send this article to my mother! 

The impending doom is starting to completely take over and then my mind goes Akashic records! This article has got to be wrong and fake news right? Was it all planned and now the vaccines are being used as a bio weapon?! No, surely that can’t be right! The government would never harm it’s own citizens right?! I guess we should really ask the Tuskegee and Native American folks but surely we know better by now?

Saturday, June 19, 2021

Pandemic Push

After being called a “female Alex Jones” one too many times and blocked on Facebook messenger by my best friend of 15 years I decided starting a blog would probably be the best for all in my life! Think I need an outlet before this pandemic pushes everyone away!

Let me start off by saying I don’t sit around watching the news all day waiting for the next bad thing to happen. I just happen to be a nurse who’s been working within the COVID business for what now seems like an eternity! This has created a problem because it seems like it’s all I can focus on! I eat, breathe, sleep Covid and I can’t help it! Luckily Covid is starting to dwindle down but will that help? Has Covid changed everyone forever? Seems to have changed my relationships at least.

I began watching the situation happening in Wuhan January 2020 and told everyone I knew to start preparing then! I was told by friends and family that I was a crazy conspiracy nut! I trusted my gut though and stocked my house with essential items and even made sure to buy my skeptical parents a mask! Everyone was still thinking I’m dumb since of course they all thought something over in China could never effect us like that! Then March hit and boy was I glad I trusted my instincts and I didn’t have to go to battle in the toilet paper war of 2020! 

 Early on in the pandemic nobody knew (or so we thought) what was happening so I started to tell everyone to wear a mask just in case. I guess being in the medical field masks have never bothered me so to me it wasn’t a big deal but how it was life shattering to some. I really started to question the IQ levels of all my friends. I got into major disagreements with friends just to find out later what I was telling them was correct. I’m not the smartest person in the world but I know how to decipher reason and to me playing it safe sounded pretty reasonable.  At this point I really started to learn who I wanted on my zombie apocalypse team! 


I have always questioned everything and trusted only what I saw. Growing up going to Catholic school you learn to do just that. Although I argued with priests over many things in my time, most still thought an inquisitive young mind was a good thing. Or least it was then? But now this mind of mine has started pushing people away! Suddenly it’s not okay to question things or voice your opinions? Heck even the Pope is saying put yourself aside to focus on the greater good? I’m all for the greater good. It’s why I got into the healthcare biz to begin with but there has to be a breaking point! I have to voice my thoughts and opinions otherwise I couldn’t live with the guilt of staying silent! Then again maybe the pandemic pushed away the people that already needed to go.


On my list of must haves this past Christmas was Laura Ingalls Wilder's The Little House on the Prairie book set! My whole life I believ...